You know, thomrey, I got the exact same translation as you gave above out of my translation software - except for the last phrase, which came out more literally as one lonely word: "Hat!", and nothing else, which had me trying to maintain control of the coffee I'd just slurped from my cup. I realised what you meant, of course, but really - someone needs to do a bit more contextual work on the online translator software, me thinks

All in all, I think I will stick to English myself, for I now have undeniable proof that whatever I translate into French using the very same software might just cause you to splutter your drink all over your keyboard, and I take my hat off to you for conversing so fluently in both

Jo

Here's to wishing you luck in beating the deadline, buddy